ON WRITING - FINDING MY VOICE

On Writing: finding my Voice

This piece appeared on the Stage 32 website a few months ago.

January is a month we’ll be focusing on writing and exploring writing practice as well as how writing can shape the writer and their commitments.

I’m writing this as a personal response to Chris Morley’s article published on the Stage 32 website, entitled ‘How to Find Your Creative Voice – Part Two: Working with Your Voice’. Stage 32

Here we go...

Now, we are often told as screenwriters, that we should read lots of screenplays to see how the ‘masters’ do it. But there’s something I want to add to this idea and that is; we reading books on writers talking about writing, because for me this is where the creative juices really flow, when it gets into the why of their work, how they tell stories.

And yes, there are of course some writers who will not speak to you or fire your imagination; even some of the most successful screenwriters/directors. That’s fine. It’s not wasted time, because it steers you towards someone else and away from those who will not help you find your Voice.

I have been reading a book, a collection of interviews with James Baldwin. I am floored by his wit and wisdom and, his brevity as it breaks the law of gravity and refuses the embrace (or clutches) of despair.

He says a beautiful thing about writing, in fact, many beautiful things, that makes me fall in love with who I am and my place here on Earth. We do not merely succumb to the ‘veil of tears’, we tear it down and refuse to let it have the final word on our lives. That’s what we do as writers; we do not succumb, we resist.

That is why we are apocalyptic in our intent. (‘Apokalepsis’ is an Ancient Greek word which means...no, not ‘ending’ but ‘unveiling’).

This makes me think that a writer does not write for the majority, the victors, but the excluded minority – the victims. Because? Well, here’s what James Baldwin has to say, in his interview with Studs Terkel, on December 29th, 1961.

“The majority is usually – I hate to say this – wrong. There is a great confusion in this country (the USA) about that.”

And again,

Here’s a quote from Baldwin’s Essay, ‘The Northern Protestant’ about Ingmar Bergman:

“Art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story, to vomit the anguish up.”

Oblique, because you may have noticed that the best communicators speak to us in analogy, or with a parabolic attitude and intent, at a sideways glance from reality, as those who enjoy the mainstream current, would see it.

Baldwin speaks of himself as a writer, as being a ‘witness’ and not a spokesman. A spokesman who speaks for people generally follows the ideological path, they become propagandists. However, a witness, which Baldwin says he learnt from his church days, speaks from the edge and hasn’t sold out to the prevailing, majority ideology.

Baldwin again,

“Now, it’s true that the nature of society is to create, among its citizens, an illusion of safety; but also, absolutely true, that the safety is always necessarily an illusion. Artist are here to disturb the peace.”

Which reminds me of the saying about disturbing the comfortable and comforting the disturbed. And here I am learning more about the nature of my Voice. I won’t be writing Rom-Coms or Love Stories, unless of course they are severely twisted. Note to self: Perhaps I could fuse the Rom-Com genre with the horror genre and rattle a few cages, by reducing the saccharin content?

This reminds me of the old joke. “Which part of the city does a writer live in? (Answer) Disturbia.” I know, and this is why I don’t write comedy!

Let’s talk about the social responsibility of the writer. (And no, I’m not talking about didactic filmmaking). Do you have one? Is that where your Voice is rooted? What would this look like to you? (Answers please, in the comments below).

For me, well, when I started out, I didn’t know that I had such a thing, but it has grown on me, slowly, through reading about writers like James Baldwin and resistance activists like The White Rose Movement (Munich, Germany – 1941-42). One of their mottoes from their dissident pamphlets, which seems redolent with meaning for a writer of social responsibility, is this,

“We will not be silent. We will be your bad conscience. The White Rose will not leave you in peace.”

These words have stuck with me and moved from a memory of times past, to something which is rooted now, in my heart.

No matter what I’m writing; political horror novels, human trafficking stories, dark comedic projects, the ‘truth about reality’ screenplays, or an urban fantasy limited series - there seems to be a common thread. And yes, it’s my Voice, AND being a ‘witness’ to the consequences of our bad choices; political, social and spiritual.

Not just personal microcosmic choices, but that of society as a whole, or perhaps, as many congealed fragments. And further still, as Julius Lester would call it, (from another interview with James Baldwin – ‘Reflections of a Maverick’) ‘succumbing to ideology’; something which Baldwin never did.

His commitment was to stand on the edge of society and observe, to witness what those choices have meant for humanity. Namely, chaos. (This is what makes me a writer/activist).

I’ve previously said that my aim is to read widely and write deeply. It is a process which allows me, leads me towards the sound of the Voice.

Whatever I’m reading or watching is an integral part of my writing process. Whether reading about a German Resistance Movement, interviews with James Baldwin, a biography on Alan J. Pakula, or the poetry of Joy Harjo or Rumi, something has stuck in my imagination, which I access through my heart and not my rational mind.

It has taken root there and is responsible for growing some interesting projects.

And then, you may be thinking, who the f**k are you, Geoff Hall? Never heard of you.

And so, I have to tell you that along with the three short films I’ve written, Directed and Produced, or my writing for Publisher Chris Lorensson, only one of these more recent fiction projects has come to fruition, and that is my political horror story, “0w1:believe”. Who’s interested in reading an article from a guy with so little success? Well, “Excuse me, while I kiss the sky.”

You may think of me as a failure, and of course in my darker moments, so do I! However, what keeps me going is what keeps me going, if you see what I mean? It’s the need to find my Voice in the marketplace of Film and TV and deliver some mind-bending and reality-shaking projects.

I truly believe that the only failure, is to stop putting ink onto pristine pages; of making my mark with the creative process.

I will keep on writing, because I am convinced that this is what the Universe prompts me to do. It is as simple as that. That, is my success story. There are no career ladders, development strategies, or routes to navigate, just the desire to respond to the prompt, by writing, as the Universe’s pen.

Perspective is needed, of course. I do it, because it’s easier than watching my mother, or rather the mother I knew, fade away in front of my eyes, because of this awful thing called Alzheimer’s Disease, that, in comparison, is much harder.

But even from her current state, she still asks me when she can buy the novel or, “when is your film (Seeing Rachel) going to be made?” She may of course not see this film made, but the fact that she continues to hold on to, somehow, this thing that her son is doing, shows she hasn’t given up on me and nor, more importantly, to despair. She just continues to show that deep love during suffering, can go on and that really inspires me to pursue this course of my life.

Image – ‘Seeing Rachel: 6-2’. From the storyboard for the opening sequence of the film ‘Seeing Rachel’. Drawn by, Kieron Edwards.

So, finally, I wrote most of this in my notebook whilst Mum was asleep, upstairs in her bedroom and I had some time to gather my thoughts. In her mind I’m not a failure, I just need a break! When has this not been said of a writer!?

In my mind, most days I’m not a failure. I continue to do what I’m supposed to do, what I’m passionate about, even if for now, I remain anonymous to the public domain and you have no clue who I really am. Or maybe...

Yes, it’s true that the worst curse on the writer is one of anonymity, but my heart cries out for success beyond resilience.

What do I mean by success?

It is this. To become an accomplished writer and to fulfil my social responsibility in the very public, cultural domain of storytelling.

And finally, truly, honestly, in responding to Chris’ article about finding your Voice, I was reminded of an occasion when my wife and I visited the Baiyun Taoist Temple in Old City Shanghai.

My wife was given a spur-of-the-moment lesson in calligraphy, at the Education Centre adjoining the Temple and her tutor said,

“Your spiritual development is reflected in the mastery of your craft.”

And yes, that is very much an eastern thought/concept, a philosophy of life, rooted in Daoism, which has caused some conjecture on another thread of the Stage 32 website, but as promised I will write something more in depth about this, not in a compare and contrast kind of way, East v West, but perhaps exploring more of this Eastern Daoist philosophy and what it means to our creative process.

This is something I’ve been learning about in my research and reading on the great Classical T’ang Dynasty poet, Tu Fu. So, this will be not written by a ‘master’ of Daoist spirituality, but as a novice or neophyte, who is enjoying the journey and learning that in writing fiction novels, poetry or screenplays, there is something to be learnt about this as an act of deep meditation.

With that in mind, I feel just fine about my progress in living as a writer. How are you doing?

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All James Baldwin quotes are from the book, ‘James Baldwin: The Last Interview’, published by Melville House. Brooklyn & London. 2014.

Geoff Hall